Have you ever told someone of your dreams, and they have given you reasons why you can’t do them, or you will never achieve them? Don’t let people hold you back, live your life for you, chase your dreams.
Today, I share the story of Emma who has a dream of traveling to France, but her friends and family are not supportive and trying to hold her back.
Whilst making a cup of tea in the office kitchen, I talked with Emma a lady in her late 40s. Recently divorced, her children are grown up, and for the first time in decades, she finally has time for herself.
She’s always dreamed of going to France — to wander through little cobblestone streets, sit at a café with a croissant and espresso, admire the view from the top of the Eiffel tower, visit the lavender fields of Provence and stroll on the boardwalk, the Promenade des Anglais, in Nice.
But when she mentioned her plans to her family and friends, the reaction wasn’t what she hoped for.
“You can’t go to France alone!” her sister said.
“That’s for young backpackers, not women our age”,
“French people are rude. They don’t even speak English — you’ll have a terrible time.” , her friends exclaimed
Each comment chipped away at her excitement, until she started to question herself. Maybe they were right. Maybe it was a silly idea.
By the way, had Emmas sister and her friends been to France themselves? No. No they hadn’t, they’d just heard “stuff” from others.
She opened up to me, Emma’s not afraid of France — she’s afraid of being judged by her own family and friends. She’s afraid of making a mistake, of proving everyone right if something goes wrong.
And beneath that, there’s something deeper: she’s forgotten how to listen to her own voice, her own dreams.
For so many years, she’s done what’s expected — as a wife, a mum, a friend, a sister. But now, standing on her own, she’s not sure whose approval she’s waiting for anymore.
The real issue isn’t that France is far away, or she is over the age of 35, or that the language is different. The problem is that Emma’s letting the fear of others become her own.
Sometimes, when people say, “You can’t,” what they really mean is, “I wouldn’t.”
Their fear gets projected onto you — and if you’re not careful, you start carrying their limitations as if they were your own.
They may be trying to protect you, they may not want you to achieve more than what they have, they may be jealous,
Question for you
Let me ask you a question, have you ever told someone of your dreams, and they have given you reasons why you cant do them, or you will never achieve them? How did that make you feel?
What did you do? Did you give up? And still think about that and regret that you never took action.
Or did you say “thanks for your thoughts and advice, but.. I’m going to do this anyways, for me. I’m not doing it for you. I know you wouldn’t; but I am.”
Three steps to freedom
So what can Emma — and anyone feeling this way — do?
Step 1. Acknowledge the dream
Write down what your dream is. If no one was trying to stop you, what would you do?
It’s okay to want more. To want adventure. To want something just for you.
Step 2. Analyze the stories
The stories, the reasons people are telling you not to go, how much truth is in them?
Has anyone else done this before and succeeded?
Yes, hundreds of thousands of people travel to France each year, many people travel there solo, and over the age of 35, and many people do not have French as first language, and they get along okay…in fact they have a wonderful time!
Reset your mind to focus on the positives; what IS possible?
Know that you can do this. No matter what your close family and friends are telling you – those are their problems, not yours.
Mindset is everything – its the stories we tell ourselves, what we believe. Focus on the positives, the can-dos, believe you can, start seeing yourself there, imagine you are doing it.. focus on where you want to go.
Step 3. Make a plan
Start on your plan for the travels, the itinerary, the details, and focus on all those amazing things you want to do.
Know that you can do this, it’s your dream and goal, not theirs.
Inspired by Mel Robbins “let them” theory: let them worry; and let me chase my dreams and do what lights me up #letthem
Take-away for this week
Don’t let others fears and worries hold you back. Stop waiting for others permission. Give yourself permission.
The moment you stop asking for permission to live your life, that’s when the adventure truly begins.
Challenge for this week
Your challenge for this week is to do something that someone close you tells you that you shouldn’t do. They are holding you back . Something you have wanted to do for a long time. Start small. Maybe it is going to the movies alone, or to the art gallery. or maybe its that weekend getaway, go without them if they are constantly always too busy and say ‘we’ shouldn’t do that. Maybe you want to try rock climbing but they say its too dangerous. Take that lesson.
Dont let their fears hold you back, dont miss out on what you want to do because they are afraid or don’t want it.
Don’t regret – that is painful
Don’t resent – that is painful
If Emma’s story resonated with you, maybe it’s time to dust off that dream trip of your own — whether it’s to France, or just a weekend getaway nearby. Remember, confidence grows every time you take a small step forward.
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Until next time—enjoy the journey, every moment of it, and go solo. Stay safe. – Linda
Linda Marie Travel 